Growing up I always felt like there was something wrong or broken about me cause I wasn’t as free and outspoken as my big sister. Whenever there was a program in school my sister always has a role to play either she was in the debate or making a speech or some kind of recitation while I was in the audience and not even in the front but in a corner where people won’t really talk to me. Most people just called me shy and said I would outgrow it but I laugh in their faces because I never did. I hated the fact that people treated me differently cause I was quiet and reserved and it wasn’t a good kind of differently so as I got older and got more acquainted with the internet I downloaded books and read more and more and more and more about what I felt was wrong with me.
At this point I will like to make a distinction between three concepts people always jumble together and I learnt the difference when I read Susan Cain’s book “Quiet: The power of introvert in a world that won’t stop talking” and I recommend this book to all the introverts out there who can relate to my experience. So the three concepts are; Introvertism, shyness and social anxiety. These three are not the same in any way but are related. Now an introvert is someone who prefers their personal time to being in crowds or with people. They are more themselves in solemnity and quietness because that is where they shine. Introverts can be bold and social when they want to be but they would rather be reserved and alone. It’s important to note that introverts are not lonely because the same way an extrovert is very excited at a party or in a gathering, that’s how an introvert feels with a good book or a nice quiet evening. To others it’s strange but to them it’s perfectly normal.
The second one is shyness. Unlike the introverts, shy people want to partake in events and socialize with others but don’t know how to to. They are bad at starting conversations and tend to run away from settings with other people because they don’t think they know what to say. An introvert can decide to inject him or herself into a social situation and be fine, speak and relate well and then return to the solemnity of their life and be ok but a shy person may want to and most times wants to be social but somehow don’t know how to or rather they feel they don’t know how to. Shy people have a lot to say but most times keep in buried in because they just don’t think they will fit in.
And finally to social anxiety. People with social anxiety feel extremely uncomfortable in social situations and settings. They are constantly afraid that they would do or say the wrong thing. Individuals with social anxiety are over conscious of how they appear in a social gathering. They are overly conscious of how they look, how they speak, how they stand, how they smile or how their legs move when they are walking. They feel that people are consistently judging them so they can’t be themselves and are very uncomfortable around people.
Tragically I fall into all three categories and I have had people tell me I can’t be who I want to be because I am not ‘loud’ or very free with people. I know a lot of people have experienced this at some point or the other. I can’t say I have overcome it because I believe being an introvert is not something you outgrow or need to over come because it is part of who you are and people should stop making introverts feel like they are broken in some way. Introverts or shy people or those with social anxiety have a lot to offer but most times aren’t given an opportunity to show this.
I am speaking as someone who has been looked over because I am introverted to all the introverts out there that the fact that you are little more quit than the person beside you doesn’t make you less than what that person is. It’s who you are so it should not be the reason you fail but the reason you fight through to break forth. I know I have used the fact that I am an introvert or shy or not bold enough as an excuse not to do things but no more. It might be an extrovert’s world but its introverts that make it what it is.
Let’s not use our personalities as excuses anymore, we must rise in spite of it and show everyone that you don’t have to be ‘loud’ to make impact. Being an introvert is not some kind of disease even though people see it that way and use it’s a reason to constantly give advice. Sometimes I roll my eyes in my head because everything they say I know because we introverts are not broken and don’t need to be fixed so to all the introverts out there; your power is in your silence and the few words you utter. Change the world the way you are without changing for anyone, do not let it be your crutch but the wings upon which you take flight and soar.
SUNEHRI 